The Anger of Man...
I hope it's okay to be vulnerable. When I was younger I was angry, I was usually set to snap at any minute, I hated myself, I wore a mask, and I was good at faking it to make it. When I came to Christ in 2008 my anger was something that God quickly addressed. I began memorizing verses concerning anger and praying that the fruit of the Spirit would be evident and that I would put the flesh to death. God honored my prayers and my anger and rage subsided and I was beginning to look more like Christ in and through circumstances where anger would normally rule the day. I was very thankful for this.
I am in a new season of life, I am now married to my lovely wife Stephanie & we have 2 wonderful boys (currently both are under 2). Sleep is a hot commodity, time to yourself is virtually non-existent and your whole routine centers around others. I am beyond blessed, however, something unexpected started happening, anger has begun to rear it's evil head. I have found myself allowing my emotions to control me rather than me controlling my emotions. I have found myself constantly on edge, responding poorly, and then feeling awful. Thankfully there are many moments in this where I hold my thoughts and my actions captive, and by the grace of God keep it together, but sadly there are moments when I don't. I know I am not perfect, but I am hard on myself, I expect better because I am new person in Christ. I am very open about my struggles, I seek to live in the light and so Stephanie and I have had a pretty open dialogue concerning our frustrations and our feelings as a result. These conversations are starting to bring us closer to each other and ultimately closer to God. If your like me, you want to take things on, and you take them on in your own strength. I always think I am stronger than I am and so I rely more on myself then I do God and His Spirit in me. Stephanie and I started a couples devotional this morning and the author drew out this exact point. He stated that in marriage we can drain our batteries, and forget to plug in, we start to take things on in our own strength and it will inevitably end in failure. This really resonated with me, the author is right and more importantly God used those words to remind me that I am doing this exact thing again.
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." James 1:19-20
I woke up in the middle of the night already launched in prayer, I was thanking God that His mercies are renewed daily, and I was praying that I would be a better man today then I was yesterday. When I read the devo with Stephanie and those words about our own strength came, it clicked, the only way I am going to be a better man today then yesterday is if I surrender myself fully to Christ and rest in His strength not my own. I praise God that His power is made known in my weakness and that His grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9). I praise God that He is not finished with me, that He sees His work through to completion and that He is in the business of molding and shaping me into the likeness of Jesus.
I don't know what you are struggling with, but I want to encourage you to stop trying to beat it on your own. We are all in desperate need of Jesus, we are all in desperate need of the body of Christ (other believers), and we are all in process. Today, rest in Him, rely on His strength, and press on.
I would love to pray for and with you, and I ask that you pray for me and my family. If you have a prayer request please leave it in the comments or email me at email@example.com. God bless!!